What To Do When Your Boss Is Out To Get You

Every time it happens, it just makes you cringe deep inside. It doesn’t matter what format the message comes in on. It could be an email, chat message, voice-mail, text, etc. It all results in the same emotion.

When you get that “please see me”, it immediately triggers that internal thought of “Ugh, dammit. What the fuck is it this time?”

You put on your best neutral-ish positive face and mentally prepare for what will be yet another session of them berating you on your work. It’s a mental put-down that kills what little good vibes you have remaining.

It really does feel like your boss is out to get you. It’s like their mission to find something to give you a hard time.

Trying to survive a shitty work environment can be tough, especially when you feel like your boss is targeting you. Your personal life is already hard on its own. With the added pressures of a soul-crushing boss, your life is nothing but a non-stop stress train about to derail.

It's a shitty situation that can leave you feeling isolated, anxious and burned out. But don't worry, you're not alone, and there are steps you can take to protect yourself and find a way to survive.

The first step is seeing the signs so that you can take countermeasures to protect yourself.

Ever feel like no matter what you do, it's never good enough?

If your boss constantly sets unrealistic deadlines or goals that seem impossible to achieve, you might be on their radar. This could be their way of setting you up for failure, making it easier for them to criticize your performance.

When your boss is a bullshit micromanager only to you, it can be a sign that they don’t trust you or are looking for reasons to go off on you. If they're always hovering over your shoulder, questioning every decision you make, or demanding detailed reports for every minor task, it's a clear sign that something's off.

Does your demoralizing boss criticize you in front of your colleagues?

Public humiliation is a tactic some managers use to undermine your confidence and show dominance. If they frequently call you out in meetings or send out emails with a ton of people copied highlighting your mistakes, it's a red flag.

One of the key things that helps you gain a better perspective is to take a step back and try to uncover what is really driving this kind of behavior. To do this effectively, you gotta get up from your desk, find a quiet place to think and starting writing shit down.

Sometimes, the reason behind your boss's behavior is personal. It could be something as simple as a personality clash or a bias against your background, gender, or other personal attributes. Understanding this can help you approach the situation more strategically when dealing with an asshole boss.

If your boss sees you as a threat to their position, they might try to undermine you to secure their own job. This is especially common if you're highly competent, know your shit inside and out and others within the org know this. Your bitch boss will see you as a potential replacement for them.

Sometimes, your boss may not be out to get you. Sometimes, your boss might also be under immense pressure from their fucking clueless executives or dealing with personal issues that they're unfairly taking out on you. While this doesn't excuse their behavior, it can help you understand why they're acting the way they are.

You can go about handling this in one of two ways. You can go on the offensive and attack them back (not recommended). Or, you can set up defensive measures so that you can deflect things and preserve your personal brand and reputation. The latter option is the better one to maintain your credibility and protect your career.

So, here are a few defensive strategies that you can use to protect yourself and save your sanity.

Keep a detailed record of all interactions with your boss that you feel are unfair or targeted. This includes emails, meeting notes, and any other communications. Having concrete evidence can be invaluable if you need to escalate the issue and complain to HR.

This is not the time to lose your shit and go AWOL in the office. If you do that, you’ll most definitely get shit-canned or at the very least, demoted.

It's crucial to maintain your professionalism, no matter how tempting it might be to lash out and fight back. Keep your shit together, respond calmly to criticisms, thank your boss for their feedback, and continue to perform your duties to the best of your ability, short of quiet quitting.

If your boss's behavior is affecting your mental health, it's important to set solid boundaries at work. Politely but firmly communicate your limits, whether it's the amount of extra work or overtime you're willing to do or the tone of communication you're comfortable with.

This is when having a work BFF is huge. Everybody should have one. If you don’t, you should form positive alliances when and where you can. You need these resources.

These peeps can be your go-to for emotional and mental support and also for guidance. Having someone in your corner can make a huge difference in how you cope with the situation.

You can’t and shouldn’t take a mental beating five days a week. Your mental strength has limits. And, just like when you workout or exercise, your body needs recovery time. It’s exactly the same here too.

Do things that help you relax and recharge outside of work. Whether it's exercise, hobbies, taking a solo weekend trip or spending time with loved ones (human and furry kinds), make sure you're prioritizing your health.

Sometimes, all it takes is to look at things in a totally different way to make them positive. You can spin this and tell your mind that this can be a good thing.

Use this challenging time as an opportunity to develop your skills in managing bad bosses and learning what not to do when you get promoted into middle management. This not only makes you a more valuable employee but also boosts your confidence and self-worth.

If shit doesn’t get any better and there’s no end in sight, then it might be good to start looking at making an internal transfer to another group or department or maybe just jumping ship to another company. Sometimes, the best decision for your well-being and career is to leave a toxic work environment and move on to a more supportive and positive one.

Dealing with a boss who's always on your case and out to get you is undeniably tough, but remember that you're not powerless here. While it's unlikely that you can change their behavior, you can change what it means to you and how it affects you.

By understanding the signs, protecting yourself, seeking support, reframing things and focusing on your well-being, you can navigate this shitty situation. This ain’t your first rodeo. You’ve been through this before and came out on the other end.

Be sure to manage work stress to stay healthy. Stay strong, and don't be afraid to take steps to ensure your happiness and career growth. Don’t let them derail your life. Keep your chin up - you got this.

Feel Better,
[Cubicle|Therapy]