SUMMARY POINTS
There isn’t a day that goes by without your fucking boss doing or saying something to put you and/or your work down.
On really evil days, their snide and condescending remarks come through multiple channels throughout the day. It’s like they have a pre-planned strategy to just ruin your entire day.
During group meetings, it’s the subtle way they express their opinion about the lack of quality of your work. It tarnishes your personal brand at work, right in front of other coworkers.
It’s the “come to my office” chat messages where they expect you to drop whatever you’re doing and run to their office so that they can berate you.
It’s their overruling tone of voice during phone calls where anything you say is completely and utterly ignored. It’s unbelievable.
And, when they come by your desk unannounced, it’s the way they literally stand over your shoulder and point out stupid bullshit things.
All of this is nothing but negative feedback and criticism.
All of this is way beyond just getting under your skin. It’s eating you up inside, all the way to the core of your being.
You need to do something about this now.
On really evil days, their snide and condescending remarks come through multiple channels throughout the day. It’s like they have a pre-planned strategy to just ruin your entire day.
During group meetings, it’s the subtle way they express their opinion about the lack of quality of your work. It tarnishes your personal brand at work, right in front of other coworkers.
It’s the “come to my office” chat messages where they expect you to drop whatever you’re doing and run to their office so that they can berate you.
It’s their overruling tone of voice during phone calls where anything you say is completely and utterly ignored. It’s unbelievable.
And, when they come by your desk unannounced, it’s the way they literally stand over your shoulder and point out stupid bullshit things.
All of this is nothing but negative feedback and criticism.
All of this is way beyond just getting under your skin. It’s eating you up inside, all the way to the core of your being.
You need to do something about this now.
How Bad Bosses Make You Feel Like Shit
There’s no denying the fact that asshole bosses will always make you feel like shit, no matter how good things are going. In fact, it seems like they often go out of their way just to rain on your parade.
If your boss is constantly putting you down, making you feel like you're worthless, and acting like a bully, it can take a serious toll on your mental health. Plus, they make managing work stress an impossible task. In fact, research shows that having a demoralizing boss can be just as bad for your well-being as experiencing chronic stress.
There are a million ways that a toxic boss can ruin you. Today’s focus will be on the most common behaviors that demoralizing bosses use to undermine and cripple you.
If your boss is constantly putting you down, making you feel like you're worthless, and acting like a bully, it can take a serious toll on your mental health. Plus, they make managing work stress an impossible task. In fact, research shows that having a demoralizing boss can be just as bad for your well-being as experiencing chronic stress.
There are a million ways that a toxic boss can ruin you. Today’s focus will be on the most common behaviors that demoralizing bosses use to undermine and cripple you.
1) Treat Employees Like Children
When it comes to managing a team of employees, some bosses act like they are in charge of a bunch of kids. They micromanage every little fucking detail, never trust their employees to make decisions on their own, and always have to be the one in control.
They don’t realize that we’re all adults at work and instead, they treat everyone like elementary school kids. It makes work-life an absolute misery. They give you little to no leeway and have you on lockdown. The end result is that what little joy you had at work gets eliminated.
They don’t realize that we’re all adults at work and instead, they treat everyone like elementary school kids. It makes work-life an absolute misery. They give you little to no leeway and have you on lockdown. The end result is that what little joy you had at work gets eliminated.
2) See Staff As Robots
When you are told to do something in a specific way and not deviate at all, it removes all of your creative input, ideas and recommendations.
All you are at this point is just a clock-punching desk slave, that’s it. You’re pretty much a production line worker assembling reports, presentations, excel charts and processing emails. A lot of times, it’s bullshit shallow work.
You are essentially a mindless office robot.
All you are at this point is just a clock-punching desk slave, that’s it. You’re pretty much a production line worker assembling reports, presentations, excel charts and processing emails. A lot of times, it’s bullshit shallow work.
You are essentially a mindless office robot.
3) Never Open To Ideas Or Recommendations
Many abusive and bullying bosses have a common working principle of “my way or no way” when it comes to getting things done.
These kinds of managers and supervisors don’t value or give a shit about other ideas, thoughts, perspectives, etc. All they care about is their way of doing things. Period.
There is no flexibility here. You don’t even have an opportunity to explain other potential workarounds and solutions. Your boss shuts you out and ignores anything you say.
When this happens, you feel like you’re not valued. All of the grunt work that you do feels pointless.
These kinds of managers and supervisors don’t value or give a shit about other ideas, thoughts, perspectives, etc. All they care about is their way of doing things. Period.
There is no flexibility here. You don’t even have an opportunity to explain other potential workarounds and solutions. Your boss shuts you out and ignores anything you say.
When this happens, you feel like you’re not valued. All of the grunt work that you do feels pointless.
4) Always Barking Out Orders
The word “please” doesn’t exist in the minds of bad bosses. And, things like cubicle etiquette don’t even register in their heads.
Instead, their primary communication style is to simply bark out orders. This happens during in-person conversations, group meetings, email exchanges, team chats, conference calls, etc.
It doesn’t matter what the communication medium is. Bosses like this never politely ask for your help and support on something. They’re like asshole drivers during the commute. They just issue commands. Nobody likes to be ordered to do something. This isn’t the military.
Instead, their primary communication style is to simply bark out orders. This happens during in-person conversations, group meetings, email exchanges, team chats, conference calls, etc.
It doesn’t matter what the communication medium is. Bosses like this never politely ask for your help and support on something. They’re like asshole drivers during the commute. They just issue commands. Nobody likes to be ordered to do something. This isn’t the military.
5) Crushes All Creativity
Maybe, you’ve got a more stylish way to present the information using a series of charts and graphs. Or, you think that adding some related Powerpoint imagery would really help to drive the point home.
But, it all gets shot down immediately with an accompanying smug remark of, “Why would anyone do that? That’s so stupid.”
The combination of rejection paired with an insult just cuts you down so harshly that it fucking pisses you off. And, in most cases, it’s done in front of others.
But, it all gets shot down immediately with an accompanying smug remark of, “Why would anyone do that? That’s so stupid.”
The combination of rejection paired with an insult just cuts you down so harshly that it fucking pisses you off. And, in most cases, it’s done in front of others.
6) Everything Must Be Done To Their Specifications
There’s very little wiggle room when it comes to how things get done with these kinds of control freak bosses. They get into the weeds for all project and task reviews and approvals.
It’s things like using a specific font size, style and color. Or maybe how the spacing between the bullet and the first word should be bigger or smaller. You get the idea here. Sometimes, it feels like they are telling you which keys to press and where to click for every damn thing.
Dealing with bullshit micromanagers is annoying at best and soul-crushing at worst.
It’s things like using a specific font size, style and color. Or maybe how the spacing between the bullet and the first word should be bigger or smaller. You get the idea here. Sometimes, it feels like they are telling you which keys to press and where to click for every damn thing.
Dealing with bullshit micromanagers is annoying at best and soul-crushing at worst.
7) Have No Interest In Employee's Lives
When was the last time that your boss asked about your personal life or interests?
The answer is never.
They don’t give a rat’s ass about you as a person, as someone with hobbies or a loving family etc. They don’t care about that shit. The only thing that they care about is how your work is going to make them look.
It’s not like they don’t have the skills or capability to do so. After all, they play office politics like a pro. It’s because they honestly don’t care about you as a person. It’s all self-driven motivation.
The answer is never.
They don’t give a rat’s ass about you as a person, as someone with hobbies or a loving family etc. They don’t care about that shit. The only thing that they care about is how your work is going to make them look.
It’s not like they don’t have the skills or capability to do so. After all, they play office politics like a pro. It’s because they honestly don’t care about you as a person. It’s all self-driven motivation.
8) Never Supports Employee Growth
Demoralizing managers always want to keep you stuck at work in the same job, doing the same thing day in and day out. You’re just a small cog in the machine to them.
They never support your career growth because then, it’ll eventually mean that they have to find a replacement for you which is a pain-in-the-ass to them. The only way out here is to quit the company because there’s zero chance of an internal transfer.
They never support your career growth because then, it’ll eventually mean that they have to find a replacement for you which is a pain-in-the-ass to them. The only way out here is to quit the company because there’s zero chance of an internal transfer.
9) Practices Nepotism All The Time
The only time that dispiriting demon bosses like this ever give out any kind of kudos is when it can benefit them. So, they will always favor specific individuals so that they can build alliances within the organization.
Almost everything they do has some bias and preferential treatment for another person, irrespective of the fact that there’s a more appropriate person for the reward.
It hurts the most when it’s you that should be getting the fucking recognition you deserve, not the nitwit they favor.
Almost everything they do has some bias and preferential treatment for another person, irrespective of the fact that there’s a more appropriate person for the reward.
It hurts the most when it’s you that should be getting the fucking recognition you deserve, not the nitwit they favor.
10) Often Puts Employees Down
Sometimes their put-downs are subtle and other times it’s right to your face, in front of an audience. In either case, bosses like this seem to relish doling out negativity and abuse.
They make getting through rough days at work that much more difficult to do because just when you’re feeling good about yourself, they cut you down. They really make it hard for positive office karma to grow and flourish.
They make getting through rough days at work that much more difficult to do because just when you’re feeling good about yourself, they cut you down. They really make it hard for positive office karma to grow and flourish.
Ways To Deal With A Demoralizing Boss
Right now, you're probably feeling constantly drained and stressed out at work. And, it's probably not just due to the workload stress. Your denigrating boss is partly to blame.
It’s important to find ways to cope with the situation and protect your mental health and well-being. Otherwise, if you don’t take care of this now, then it’s gonna mess you up and make your toxic work environment so much worse.
Here are some proven strategies and tactics that you can use to counteract the negativity.
It’s important to find ways to cope with the situation and protect your mental health and well-being. Otherwise, if you don’t take care of this now, then it’s gonna mess you up and make your toxic work environment so much worse.
Here are some proven strategies and tactics that you can use to counteract the negativity.
1) Rally The Troops & Take Action With HR
Chances are pretty good that your boss isn’t just a dick to you but to a lot of other people in the office too. In this case, you have some leverage.
What you need to do is to gather the victims and confirm if they are experiencing the same problems with your boss. Then, arrange an internal meeting with HR so that each person can share their feedback on the situation.
The meeting needs to be documented with good meeting minutes. So, have someone take better notes so that they can be recorded for future reference.
What you need to do is to gather the victims and confirm if they are experiencing the same problems with your boss. Then, arrange an internal meeting with HR so that each person can share their feedback on the situation.
The meeting needs to be documented with good meeting minutes. So, have someone take better notes so that they can be recorded for future reference.
2) Mentally Disconnect Yourself
One of the best ways to disconnect from work is to mentally disassociate yourself from all the bullshit.
Your job doesn’t define you. It’s not part of your true self or identity. And anyone or anything that causes you any angst or grief should be brushed off like an insignificant annoyance.
Sometimes if you can see your job as some weird lab experiment or like a reality TV series, then it makes it easier to mentally turn off. Just imagine the doorway out of the office building as a mental trigger that changes the channel.
Then, turn your commute into relaxing me-time to cut yourself loose from office life.
Your job doesn’t define you. It’s not part of your true self or identity. And anyone or anything that causes you any angst or grief should be brushed off like an insignificant annoyance.
Sometimes if you can see your job as some weird lab experiment or like a reality TV series, then it makes it easier to mentally turn off. Just imagine the doorway out of the office building as a mental trigger that changes the channel.
Then, turn your commute into relaxing me-time to cut yourself loose from office life.
3) Be Proud & Ignore All Their Bullshit
You bust your ass at work. You know that. Yet, not everyone does so, you’ve gotta be your own best cheerleader. When you don’t have to rely on anyone else but yourself to boost your confidence, that’s a huge advantage.
So, when your discouraging boss starts yapping all sorts of bullshit lies, you can just look them in the eyes and just ignore the blabbering sounds coming out of their pie hole.
You know you’re successful at work. The fact that they don’t see that is their problem. You just need to celebrate small victories more often to keep the positive mojo going strong.
So, when your discouraging boss starts yapping all sorts of bullshit lies, you can just look them in the eyes and just ignore the blabbering sounds coming out of their pie hole.
You know you’re successful at work. The fact that they don’t see that is their problem. You just need to celebrate small victories more often to keep the positive mojo going strong.
4) Vent Your Emotions To Heal & Get Stronger
There’s something about venting at work that makes you feel so much better. Even though the problem may not go away, the fact that you’re able to unload emotions will make you feel lighter.
When the time comes and you need to get those negative feelings and thoughts out, reach out to your work BFF and head out for lunch together. Use the time to share and express your feelings. It’s part of the healing process. You’ll feel much better.
When the time comes and you need to get those negative feelings and thoughts out, reach out to your work BFF and head out for lunch together. Use the time to share and express your feelings. It’s part of the healing process. You’ll feel much better.
5) Plan An Internal Job Transfer Or Get A New Job
One of the more unfortunate things about bad bosses is that they tend to stick around for a lot longer than you’d want. This is especially true for bitch bosses that produce results at the expense of morale.
It’s unlikely that you alone can fire your asshole boss. That’s why we mentioned above that you need to rally the troops with HR to do so.
If things are really hitting rock bottom and you feel like quitting, then it might be a good idea to start planning your escape. The ideal option is to make an internal move to another group. And if that isn’t an option, then start looking for a better job elsewhere.
It’s unlikely that you alone can fire your asshole boss. That’s why we mentioned above that you need to rally the troops with HR to do so.
If things are really hitting rock bottom and you feel like quitting, then it might be a good idea to start planning your escape. The ideal option is to make an internal move to another group. And if that isn’t an option, then start looking for a better job elsewhere.
Don’t Put Up With A Shitty Boss Anymore
You’re going through some tough shit right now. And, it sucks, we know. We’ve all been through it and we’ll all have to go through it again sometime in the future.
Your demoralizing boss always seems to be on a mission to put everyone down and a lot of times, it seems like the focus is on you. The reality is that your boss is not a true leader, one that nurtures and supports your growth and that of the team.
Whatever bullshit they dish out does not and should not have any bearing on you and your kickass efforts to the company. You know you’re valuable and your contributions do make a positive difference.
Forget about your dipshit boss.
They will always try to put you down. But now, you know better and when you can manage your boss on your terms, their shitty antics will start having less and less of a negative impact on you.
This is when you start winning.
Your shitty boss immunities will get stronger with each passing day. And soon enough, you will not give a fuck about any negative thing that your boss says or does - ever.
Feel Better,
[Cubicle|Therapy]
Your demoralizing boss always seems to be on a mission to put everyone down and a lot of times, it seems like the focus is on you. The reality is that your boss is not a true leader, one that nurtures and supports your growth and that of the team.
Whatever bullshit they dish out does not and should not have any bearing on you and your kickass efforts to the company. You know you’re valuable and your contributions do make a positive difference.
Forget about your dipshit boss.
They will always try to put you down. But now, you know better and when you can manage your boss on your terms, their shitty antics will start having less and less of a negative impact on you.
This is when you start winning.
Your shitty boss immunities will get stronger with each passing day. And soon enough, you will not give a fuck about any negative thing that your boss says or does - ever.
Feel Better,
[Cubicle|Therapy]