SUMMARY POINTS

  • Clear out all of your negative vibes
  • Work through your emotions & get to a neutral state
  • Reframe your mindset to nurture happiness
Your phone alarm goes off and as you’re laying in bed, the first thing that comes to mind is the fact that you really don’t want to go to work - at all.

Every single day is a real struggle to get through.

Your job is absolutely the shittiest thing in your life right now.

It could be that you’re overloaded and stretched thin to the max.

Maybe, you have an asshole boss or work in a hostile office environment.

Or maybe, you’re doing nothing but bullshit work that’s tedious, meaningless and totally unrelated to what you really want to do.

Whatever it is that you’re going through right now, the only emotions that you’re feeling are cycles of anger, frustration and despair.

Smashing the computer, flipping off your boss and then walking out is an alternate reality that’s been playing on repeat in your head.

“Fuck this shit. I quit!”

Every single one of us has hated our jobs at some point. If you haven’t, you’re not normal.

Some folks take it to the extreme and just quit without a plan and live with the consequences of unemployment rather than suffer another agonizing day at work.

We feel you.

And we’re here to help with some legit, straight-up, no-nonsense advice that will provide some mental relief and also help to get the momentum started to turn things around.

It’s not going to instantly change your current reality into blissful happiness filled with sparkly rainbows and prancing unicorns - nope. But, it will pull you up and out to a more neutral level.

And, that’s our goal here - to bring you up a level from the deep depths of despair to a better and more balanced place.

Let’s get started.

Clear Out The Bad Mojo

The first thing that we need to take care of is all of the bad mojo that’s brewing and boiling-over inside of you.

The reason why we need to get this sorted out now is that it’s having a direct impact on your current mental health and consequently, your physical health.

We don’t have to tell you that what you’re going through right now is not only messing up your mood but it’s also screwing up your physical health.

It could be skull crushing headaches, weight gain from overeating, drinking and/or taking drugs to escape reality, losing sleep, increased blood pressure, getting sick more often from a weakened immune system, etc.

It’s a whole mess of things.

And, it’s not just you that is being negatively affected.

When you don’t disconnect from work and take your anger and frustrations home with you, you take it out on your friends or family members.

You get real snappy and irritable, “Dammit! How many times have I told you about that?!”

You’re firing nuclear missiles at people that only warranted a wrist slap.

Your fuse is only about a millimeter long and any little thing can set you off.

So, we need to start with the mental and emotional side of things and then, it will naturally lead to improvements on the physical side.

Step #1: Feel It To Heal It

How many times have we all been told to behave as a kid?

No outbursts, no crying, no complaining, etc.

This has carried over into adulthood where we’re all expected to “keep it together” emotionally no matter what’s happening to us or around us. It’s part of being a “grown-up”.

However, it’s suppressing our real emotions.

And that shit doesn’t work here - at all.

Keeping fiery emotions inside of you will only make things worse. It’ll just build up and then one day, you’ll snap and lose it.

What we actually need to do is act like kids again and follow their lead on how they deal with emotions.

Look at little kids when they get angry, pissed off, upset or hurt themselves.

They’re crying their asses off, yelling and/or having temper tantrums. Sometimes, it’s like they’ve turned into possessed banshees.

They are truly expressing their emotions without any filters. They’re not holding back. It’s all being released - all at once. It’s a flood of emotions pouring out of their bodies physically and verbally.

When it’s all done and they’ve gotten it out of their system, they’re all back to normal. It’s like it never happened. It’s incredible.

This is what you need to do - get the raw emotions out because you need to “feel it to heal it.” It’s the first and probably one of the most important steps in this process.

And each of us have different ways to do this.

Here are a few ideas on how you can get the bad mojo out of your system. Give any of these an honest try - you’ll be surprised at how effective they can be.

Scream It Out 

Okay, when we said that you shouldn’t hold back and that you should let it all out, we need to add a little conditional rule here - don’t unleash at your desk or in the office.

Having a meltdown in the office in front of your co-workers won’t do you or your reputation any favors. It’ll just ruin it. You need to maintain your personal brand at work.

So, head out to the car, get in and then let all the rage out.

Scream your damn head off, at the top of your lungs.

If you’re worried that a fellow co-worker might spot you, then drive somewhere close by where there isn’t much traffic and go ape-shit there.

If you can’t let it out at work, then do it home.

Yell into your pillow, scream in your closet and/or cry out loud in the shower. Whatever works best for you, just do it and go all out.

Beat The Shit Out Of Something

For some of us, screaming just isn’t enough. We need to take it up a notch and get physical.

If you’ve ever witnessed two kids fighting, you’re seeing raw emotions being physically released. Then, after the dust clears and things settle, they make amends.

For a lot of guys, the physical aspect of beating the shit out of something brings a lot of release and relief.

For the gals, it’s all about throwing stuff and breaking it. There’s something deeply satisfying about smashing dishes and glassware.

If you’re in this “need to kick some ass” category, here are a few ideas:

Hit the punching bag or throw weighted medicine balls at your gym.

Hurl rocks into the woods or the lake as far as you can.

Pummel your mattress with your fists over and over.

Throw rolled up balled socks against an empty wall as hard as you can (we like this one a lot).

Wring and twist a folded bath towel like you're strangling it to death.

And while you’re doing any of the above, shout out your emotions. You’ll be unloading all the emotions mentally and physically.

Have A Venting Session

There’s nothing like having an ally on your side when it feels like nobody is backing you up. They give you the support, attention and feedback you need.

It’s time to reach out to your BFF - whether it’s your personal BFF or a work BFF. Either works and if you’ve got both, even better!

And in times like this, you just know that your BFF will be there for you no matter what.

Why?

Because, you’d be there for them too.

And unlike the first two options, this is a two-way interaction.

Let the emotions pour out and share your thoughts and feelings. This is the time to vent. And having an open set of ears means a lot.

The great part is that they’re not only there to just listen, but also be a sounding board for feedback, advice and perspective.

This is why we all need work BFFs.

Step #2: Get To A Neutral State

After you’ve released the initial pressure, there’s always some residual emotions and pressure that continue to linger inside of you. This is normal.

Now is the time to apply some more mentally therapeutic methods to wipe away the remaining bits and dial down all the sky-high adrenaline, blood pressure and heart rate from the first step.

This is all about slowing down, calming yourself and getting to a middle ground.

The key thing here is that it’s a gradual transition, not an abrupt change of state.

You don’t want to force yourself to just immediately go from wailing to silence. It’s not possible and it’s not ideal.

This is when you give yourself a 5-10 minute “breather” as a transitional phase to let yourself gradually come back down to a more normal pace.

Let your mind and body determine how long it takes. Let it happen naturally.

Once things are under the speed limit, it’s time to do some simple activities to further clear your mind and relax your body. This is done by shifting your focus to more neutral things through what’s called informal or casual meditation.

We’re not asking you to contort yourself into some pretzel position or chant weird sounds.

Nope.

This is about redirecting your mind’s focus to “present moment” things via normal activities.

But it’s not easy.

What you’ll discover during this process is that your mind will inevitably revert back to how much you hate your fucking job and that’s okay. Let it.

Then, like a dog being distracted during a walk, you want to tug your mind back to focusing on what’s actually happening around you and let that bad thought slowly evaporate.

You’ll go through this back-n-forth process a bunch of times - that’s the goal. It’s a good thing.

This is how to slowly train your mind to just pay attention to the present moment for relief. It can worry about other bullshit later.

So, here are a few normal calming activities that can act as your informal/casual meditation.

Go For A Slow Quiet Walk 

There are countless academic studies, including this study published in Frontiers In Psychology, that scientifically prove that being out in nature does wonders for mental health, specifically with stress and anxiety.

Mother Nature has her ways of soothing even the most wrecked mental states.

If it’s still daylight out, get outside and go for a stroll around your neighborhood or take a slow walk at a nearby park. Keep the walking pace easy and really pay attention to all the nature around you.

Listen to the birds chirping.

Watch the clouds drifting above.

Smell the fresh air.

Hear the sound of your footsteps on the path.

Feel the breeze floating across your face.

Again, your mind will revert back to the whole job situation and that’s okay. Let it dwell on it for a bit, but then let it go and return your focus to the present moment of what’s happening around you.

Watch Calming Landscape Videos

For the times when you can’t get outside in nature, whether it’s because it’s late in the evening or the weather is shitty, you can always count on the internet to bring some nature to you.

Watching awe-inspiring or calming landscape videos on YouTube can be almost as good as being outside. In some cases, it can be better.

None of us can swoop and fly like superman over waterfalls, mountain ranges and open fields but thanks to drone technologies, you can experience it.

If you’ve got an internet connected big screen TV, watch the video up there for a more immersive experience.

Otherwise, put your headphones on and watch the videos on your computer or your phone (honestly, the bigger computer screen is going to be much better).

Here’s one YouTube channel that we subscribe to for incredible landscape video therapy.

It’s over 3-hours long, but you’ll only need a few minutes to instantly feel better.

VIDEO: 3 Hours of Amazing Nature Scenery
YOUTUBE: Cat Trumpet
LENGTH: 3:00:09
There are tons more of these kinds of landscape videos.

Search around YouTube and create your own video playlist of your favs and then, you’ll have them at your fingertips anywhere and anytime for when you need to relax.

Do A Simple Breathing Meditation

Breathing is our most elemental survival mechanism. We rarely have to think about it. It just happens naturally.

It only becomes noticeable when external forces are influencing our state. This can be physical things like running or mental things like stress and anxiety.

However, in our normal state, we don’t think about it at all. It’s like blinking. It just happens without thought.

When our minds are distracted, stressed out, bitching, complaining or whatever, we can use our breathing as a way to redirect our mind’s attention to something neutral.

It’s like using a small toy to redirect a crying baby’s state of mind. Same deal.

This is what a breathing meditation is all about - redirecting your mind’s attention for a brief amount of time.

It’s a simple process:
- Sit comfortably
- Close your eyes
- Breathe slowly
- Feel your breathe
- Focus on the sensation
- Breathe 3-5 minutes

Some people will add a bit more to keep their mind more engaged by counting up during the inhale and counting down during the exhale. It helps to keep your mind’s attention focused.

For those that need even more engagement, try our visual breathing meditation animation below. It adds another layer of “distraction” with animations that can help to keep your mind focused on breathing.

VIDEO: Silent Breathing Meditation Timer 1 Round
YOUTUBE: Cubicle Therapy
LENGTH: 1:34
There’s enough happening in the above video with visuals, counting and your breathing to keep you better focused.

And remember, your mind will wander to other things, so let it. But bring it back slowly to the breathing.

Listen To Chillaxing Music Or Nature Sounds

No matter what platform or service you use for streaming online music, there is always a channel or station for relaxing instrumentals, soothing vocals, lo-fi chill beats, easy jazz, acoustic melodies etc.

Choose whatever genre that relaxes you the most - you know yourself best.

Lose yourself in the music - surrender to it and feel the calmness washing over you.

Alternatively, you can also try listening to ambient sounds.

These can be natural sounds like the waves crashing on a beach, an open field with birds chirping, a babbling brook in the forest, etc.

Cue up some of Mother Nature’s best soundtracks, close your eyes and imagine being there.

It could be a warm sunny beach, a cool crisp autumn day by the mountain stream, a fresh spring day with singing birds or a tropical rainforest with a waterfall.

Imagine yourself there in that scene - really get into it. And before you know it, you’ve escaped reality and entered a perfect place for peaceful recovery.

Take A Meditative Shower 

There’s nothing quite like taking a long warm shower to soothe wrecked nerves.

Water has a way of relaxing us. Whether it’s seeing and hearing it in nature, drinking it or in this case, washing ourselves with it.

For most us, the daily shower is a rushed affair that we don’t pay much attention to. It’s time to change that.

Taking a relaxed pace shower is a great way to clear your head after a rough day at work or for this process, to get your state of mind to a more neutral level.

Instead of the 5-minute spray, soap and rinse, slow it down - a lot.

And, focus on the sights, smells, sounds and sensations of the shower. These are the neutral distractions for your mind to cling onto.

Here are a few things you can focus on:

Feel warm water cascading down each part of your body.

Smell the scent of the body soap.

See the steam rising above you.

Hear the water splashing down around you.

Feel the fluffy lather of the shampoo.

Don’t rush it - really focus on it. Get all of your senses in on the action. And, the more specific the sensation, the better. It gives your mind something exact to focus on.

Once you start getting into this, you can step it up and turn your boring bathroom into a shower sanctuary for daily stress relief.

Step #3: Break The Negative Cycle

After getting to a neutral state of mind, it’s time to push things further into the positive side to fend off future negativity and more importantly, break the cycle of anger and frustration.

There are two ways to do this:
1) Having An Attitude Of Gratitude
2) Reframing Your Perspective

When you hate your job, it engulfs everything and those negative emotions control all of your thoughts, feelings and actions.

When you hate your job, nobody’s on your side, the office coffee sucks, the commute blows, the computer always freezes up, the elevator takes forever, etc.

Every single thing you see and do is viewed or done through a negative mindset.

And how you think and behave is what you’ll get more of.

Projecting negative energy out into the universe will result in the same coming back to you. It’s called karma.

So, the simple answer is to be more positive, right?

The problem is that when you’re pissed off and in a shitty mood, it’s really hard to see the good in anything. Your mind only picks out and focuses on the negatives.

However, you can break this cycle.

Have An Attitude Of Gratitude

Being thankful for the small stuff in life is an easy and quick way to nudge a bit of happiness in your otherwise dreary day.

Actively spot the small simple things that come across your path during the day that you can be happy about or at least be grateful for.

A few happy things that we’ve spotted include a fellow driver letting us merge over, a hilarious internet meme, a cancelled meeting or conference call, a perfectly puffy cloud, etc.

A few things we’re grateful for include air conditioning, having a bathroom that isn’t an outhouse, wireless earbuds, etc.

There are tons of things to be grateful for. And being grateful is a simple trick to triggering happiness at work.

So, spot one new little thing that you can be happy about or grateful for every day - no matter how small or insignificant it is.

And when you focus on the little things to get tickled about, you’ll start seeing the good in more things at work. Then, karma starts returning the favor by letting happiness happen more often.

Soon enough, the momentum will slowly start moving toward the positive side.

Reframe Your Perspective

Right now, you may think that your life absolutely sucks. And, in your current view, you’re right. It does suck.

But, no matter how shitty you think your world is right now, there’s someone else on this planet that’s got it much worse than you.

Honestly answer the following questions:

Is your life in jeopardy?

Are you in a life or death situation?

There are people in the world right now, even as you’re reading this article, that may not live to see tomorrow and are begging God for another day.

Read that again.

It’s the woman that is being tortured for her religious beliefs, the guy that has late stage cancer that may not make it through the night and the innocent kid that is caught in the crossfire of a civil war.

Each of these people would do anything to be in your shoes - to be in an environment where they weren’t going to die.

And if they were working at ANY job and getting paid?

OMG, they would be eternally grateful for having that kind of life.

No amount of bullshit work, asshole boss or abusive work culture could compare to what they’re going through now. It wouldn’t phase them at all.

So, how bad is your situation really?

See?

Yes, it’s an extreme example, but it’s REAL.

And it’s this kind of hard truth that we all have to remind ourselves about every once in awhile when we think our lives suck, when in reality, we’ve got it pretty good.

Change Your Mindset For The Better

There are a lot of things in life that are out of our control. And, trying to change them is a monumental waste of our energy and time.

It’s like trying to stop the sun from rising every day or in more relatable terms, trying to stop traffic from happening during rush hour.

There’s nothing we can do about it.

We can’t control what happens to us. But, we can control our reactions and responses to them.

Getting pissed off and angry about your job or boss is normal and expected.

You need to “feel it to heal it”, get back to neutral and nudge the momentum toward the positive side.

By working through and managing your emotions, reactions and responses, you’ll be better at controlling your mindset and thus your mental health.

As you practice this strategy, you’ll soon discover that you have more control than you thought. This is when your motivation for even more positive change grows - ahem, devoting time to find a new better job? 😉

What you’re going through right now is temporary.

It will pass and you will get to a better place.

Feel Better,
[Cubicle|Therapy]

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