Got PIP’ed & Put On Performance Plan? Read This Now

This isn’t something you planned on or expected. Things haven’t been exactly working in your favor at work for a while now. In general, it’s been one issue after another. It’s hard to keep a positive attitude at work when life sucks.

It’s not like you’ve been neglecting your work. You’ve been trying your best to appease your asshole boss but no matter what you do and how you do it, it never meets their expectations.

A couple of weeks ago you kinda sensed that things are turning for the worse. And that’s exactly what happened. HR set up a meeting with you to explain that you’re now officially on a performance improvement plan.

You’ve just been PIP’ed.

During the closed door meeting, HR and your boss are going through everything together in the usual shit sandwich format and explaining why you’ve been put on a performance plan and what they now expect from you. They go over each of the projects and related tasks in painful detail. HR comes across as being supportive but in situations like this, HR fucking sucks and won’t help you - that’s the reality.

You sit there numbly nodding your head, trying to take it all in, but the shock of this thing makes it hard to pay attention.

After the mental torture session, a toxic mix of negative emotions runs through your head and they also hit you deep in your gut. You feel lost, frustrated, hopeless, scared, angry and confused. It makes managing work stress an impossibility.

We’re here to tell you that what you’re going through now is a normal reaction. And that despite how you’re feeling now, you will get over this. It will be hard to believe but this just may turn out to be a good thing.

Sometimes a PIP is truly meant to improve subpar performance and get underperformers back up to expectations, but in reality, for most situations, it’s merely a formality to document things so that the company can fire you with legal grounds via evidence.

A performance improvement plan is a huge red flag that your boss is trying to fire you. They work with HR to plan out and go through the process of laying the groundwork. The basis of this is almost always a PIP.

Without having PIP documentation in place, a company can be at risk of lawsuits from former employees who got fired. Countless wrongful termination lawsuits are brought against companies every day from former employees - whether on valid grounds or not.

Every company avoids these costly lawsuits by using corporate CYA tactics of disciplinary write-ups, official HR notices, mandatory training, documenting tardiness or absenteeism and of course, their main insurance policy of documenting and enrolling you in a performance improvement plan.

When a company puts things in writing and records your performance, it’s their way of establishing evidence and proving to the mediators or jury that they took all reasonable steps to improve your work quality to meet expectations - even if they didn’t do shit.

And guess who rates and determines the results of PIPs?

Yup, it’s your bullshit micromanager boss that doesn’t give you any leeway or support to actually improve. In fact, sometimes, they’ll make shit harder by not giving you any directions or details on tasks. This is one of several signs of an asshole boss setting you up to fail.

Most PIPs conclude that the employee still does not meet expectations - no surprise. And there’s the company’s bullshit evidence.

The hard truth is that even if you did everything in the PIP and checked all the boxes, if your bitch boss wants you out, you won’t have any say in the final feedback and review of the PIP. It’s a one-way street. You won’t have a chance to give negative feedback to your boss on their shitty management style.

So, don’t put a lot of faith or hope that the PIP will somehow save you because in most cases, it won’t.

Once you’ve come to grips with the fact that you’re on a PIP now, you gotta get laser-focused on protecting and preparing yourself for the next stage in your career.

This is not the time to be sulking in misery. You gotta shake it off and get in the zone with these tasks to ensure that you come out the other end ready for whatever happens.

First things first. Don’t let your ego fuck things up here. You will have the urge to “save face” and quit rather than going through the long painful drawn out process of going through the PIP. It’s your ego’s way of making you feel like you’re above the company.

The reality is that quitting will only give you that sensation for a fleeting moment. The consequence of resigning is that you will disqualify yourself from any kind of unemployment benefits. So, keep your ego in check and stay put, even if you feel like quitting.

You can think of it this way - if the company is going to screw you over regardless, milk them for more money via continued paychecks and unemployment benefits.

When you’re on a PIP, updating your resume should be at the top of your to-do list, right behind breathing and drinking water. It’s one of the three must-do’s for preparing for layoff. You probably haven’t touched your resume in years. It’s most definitely outdated and stale now.

Now is the time to update your resume and get it current with all the key projects, programs and achievements highlighted. This will ensure that you’re positioned for success no matter the outcome of your current job situation. Whether you choose to rise to the challenge at your current workplace or move onto new opportunities, a polished and updated resume is your safety net. 

A PIP is your trigger to hit up your industry connections and contacts. When the PIP storm is brewing and the winds are kicking up, you gotta use it to your advantage.

It's like being on a sinking ship while trying to look cool sipping your emergency exit cofftea. You gotta channel your inner schmooze and start putting out those 'Hey, long time!' messages. Because when the corporate PIP winds blow, you better have a fleet of options waiting in the LinkedIn harbor before you walk the plank. It’s not just about staying afloat, it’s about finding a new ship where you’re the captain, not the cargo.

One of the best ways to get out of this PIP ordeal is to side-step into a new role outside the company that is similar or related to what you do now. There’s no point in trying for an internal transfer because HR won’t allow it. Finding another similar external job is the easiest and quickest way to escape. Applying for related gigs is like telling your current job, “It’s not me, it’s most definitely you.”

And why not? You're fab, skilled, and ready to sprinkle your magic elsewhere. Plus, interviewing elsewhere is the career equivalent of swiping for love while committed. It gives you that thrill of the what-if without the heartache of the “I fucked up.” 

Navigating the treacherous waters of a performance improvement plan is kinda like being on a reality TV show where you're constantly tiptoeing around the elimination round. But here's a pro tip: start your job hunt like a ninja on a secret mission.

Keep your LinkedIn game strong but lowkey, schedule those interviews like you're planning a surprise party (for your career!), and carry on with your office gig like you've got it all under control, even if you're internally screaming. It's like patching up the lifeboats while the band's still playing on the Titanic. You gotta secure that backup plan before you hit the cold water. Keep it discreet and hustle hard.

You already know what the outcome of the PIP will most likely be. So, there’s really no point in going way above and beyond here. Remember, the odds are stacked against you. It’s like you’re in the big leagues, except your bat has been swapped for a coffee swizzle stick.

Here's the game plan: Keep it steady and meet the expectations of the PIP. No need to swing for the fences when solid singles will do the trick. Just show up and do your thing without any mistakes. You don’t want your boss on your case constantly. You’re not exactly quiet quitting but not crushing it either. By staying on top of your tasks, you're basically telling your boss, "I’m not striking out."

Knowing the inevitable outcome here, you gotta plan for the fact that you may very well get shit-canned. And when that happens, your income goes to zero and that’s when you start sweating more than a fat dude in a hot yoga class.

The vast majority of us don’t have FU money so when you lose your job, all of life’s expenses are gonna wipe out what little savings you have. So, to lessen hit, you gotta cut back on all unnecessary spending - like now. You gotta build a cash cushion fast so that it will soften the hard landing that’s about to happen.

Depending on what state you live in, unused PTO days are handled differently. Some state regulations require employers to pay back any unused PTO days back to the employee when they leave. This is why some companies offer bullshit unlimited PTO days to get around that law.

Other states allow companies to follow a “use it or lose it” policy. If you’re in one of those “use it or lose it” states, you gotta use up these PTO days before you are let go. Be strategic with these PTO days and maximize it by lining up multiple interviews.

Okay, so you’ve been PIP’ed at work. It sucks. A lot of us have been there and gone through it. So, just know that what we’re telling you has truth to it.

Before you plummet into the abyss of work blues and start questioning every life choice, hold up. It’s not the end of the world, or your career for that matter. Sure, getting put on a PIP feels like getting picked last for dodgeball - it stings.

But what if we told you this could be the plot twist you didn’t know you needed?

Instead of crawling under your desk with a pint of ice cream (although, that might help for a bit), it's time to reframe the narrative. Put on those rose-tinted glasses and see a PIP for what it really can be - a fire lit under your ass, a reality faceslap, a kickstart to catapult you into another job, a better job, a stable job where things mesh with your work style.

It’s time to get off your ass and follow this simple plan to prepare for job loss. You know you’re awesome at what you do. You just gotta get through this little hiccup and then find the right fit to unleash all of your true potential.

Grab a coffee, or a kale smoothie if you're one of those healthy types, and let's turn this PIP ship around. Full steam ahead to better, brighter work horizons.

Feel Better,
[Cubicle|Therapy]