SUMMARY POINTS
It’s not the most glamorous project at the company. In fact, it could be argued that it’s one of the worst projects to work on because it’s nothing but a total waste of time and resources. Anyone and everyone who has been or currently is part of this project tends to avoid it as best as they can.
The unfortunate thing for you is that it’s not something you can delegate downward since you’re not in a senior position with direct reports. In other words, when the shit rolls downhill, it stops with you. So, you don’t have a choice. You gotta work on this.
You’re reviewing all the various parts of this project and there is very little that has any glimmer of hope for success. There are so many things that are wrong or about to go wrong.
This is one huge steaming pile of shit and you’re the one that has to deal with it. So congrats, you’re now challenged with polishing this turd of a project into something decently acceptable.
The unfortunate thing for you is that it’s not something you can delegate downward since you’re not in a senior position with direct reports. In other words, when the shit rolls downhill, it stops with you. So, you don’t have a choice. You gotta work on this.
You’re reviewing all the various parts of this project and there is very little that has any glimmer of hope for success. There are so many things that are wrong or about to go wrong.
This is one huge steaming pile of shit and you’re the one that has to deal with it. So congrats, you’re now challenged with polishing this turd of a project into something decently acceptable.
What Is “Polishing A Turd” Anyway?
You’ve heard of this stupid business cliche before. It gets tossed around the office quite a bit especially when there are a lot of problem plagued projects. It may sound rather crude, but it has a valuable lesson behind it.
The saying refers to the act of taking something that is considered subpar or low quality and making it better. While it may seem impossible at first glance, polishing a turd is a valuable skill that can turn a mediocre or failed project into a successful one or at least one that doesn’t suck.
Even before you started your career, you’ve polished turds before. Whether it was embellishing a weak term paper as a college student or even more simply, scrambling to clean your room as a kid and hiding the messes around your room.
It’s time to grow up and be an adult at work now. You’ve got this turd of a project on your list of responsibilities and you’ve gotta deal with it.
The saying refers to the act of taking something that is considered subpar or low quality and making it better. While it may seem impossible at first glance, polishing a turd is a valuable skill that can turn a mediocre or failed project into a successful one or at least one that doesn’t suck.
Even before you started your career, you’ve polished turds before. Whether it was embellishing a weak term paper as a college student or even more simply, scrambling to clean your room as a kid and hiding the messes around your room.
It’s time to grow up and be an adult at work now. You’ve got this turd of a project on your list of responsibilities and you’ve gotta deal with it.
The Benefits Of Polishing A Turd
Polishing a turd may seem like a daunting task, but it can lead to numerous benefits, including…
Turning a failed project into a successful one: By identifying and addressing the root cause of issues, polishing a turd can turn a failing project into a successful one.
Learning valuable lessons: The process of polishing a turd can provide valuable insights and lessons for future projects. This will help you avoid making similar mistakes in the future.
Building resilience and adaptability: By taking on the challenge of polishing a turd, you are building resilience and adaptability as a project manager. These skills will be valuable in navigating any future challenges that may arise.
And of course, when you get a problem-plagued project fixed, you’ll have one less headache to deal with and hopefully, you’ll get the recognition you fucking deserve. And that’s what we all strive for - fewer headaches, more recognition and more productive joy at work.
Turning a failed project into a successful one: By identifying and addressing the root cause of issues, polishing a turd can turn a failing project into a successful one.
Learning valuable lessons: The process of polishing a turd can provide valuable insights and lessons for future projects. This will help you avoid making similar mistakes in the future.
Building resilience and adaptability: By taking on the challenge of polishing a turd, you are building resilience and adaptability as a project manager. These skills will be valuable in navigating any future challenges that may arise.
And of course, when you get a problem-plagued project fixed, you’ll have one less headache to deal with and hopefully, you’ll get the recognition you fucking deserve. And that’s what we all strive for - fewer headaches, more recognition and more productive joy at work.
How to Polish a Turd: Steps for Improvement

The concept of "polishing a turd" may seem daunting, but it is a process that involves several practical steps. Here are some key steps to follow when attempting to take a project out of the shitter and into a more respectable realm that may even turn into a success.
Identify The Flaws Or Issues:
The first step to polishing a turd is to get in the zone and start identifying what went wrong or what is currently going wrong in the project. This involves reviewing processes, analyzing data, or seeking feedback from team members and stakeholders.
While you can go it alone, getting additional help and support from others, particularly those who have had or currently have experience with the project is better. These folks can provide the insight that can help you shortcut the process of finding solutions.
While you can go it alone, getting additional help and support from others, particularly those who have had or currently have experience with the project is better. These folks can provide the insight that can help you shortcut the process of finding solutions.
Determine The Root Causes:
Once you have identified the issues, it is important to determine their root causes. If you only fix surface-level issues, it’ll only be a temporary band-aid fix and the problems will just come back again. You’ll be constantly banging your head against the wall and you don’t want that. You need a permanent solution.
When you get to the source of the issues, this will help you understand why the project failed, did not meet expectations and went off the rails.
When you get to the source of the issues, this will help you understand why the project failed, did not meet expectations and went off the rails.
Create An Action Plan:
Based on your analysis, create a plan of action to address the issues and improve the project. This could involve making changes to processes, reallocating resources, or creating new workflows with checks and balances.
For bigger projects, you gotta break it up into smaller chunks of mini action plans. This will make it much easier to manage than one huge unwieldy plan. Don’t multitask. You can do more with less stress by mono-tasking instead.
For bigger projects, you gotta break it up into smaller chunks of mini action plans. This will make it much easier to manage than one huge unwieldy plan. Don’t multitask. You can do more with less stress by mono-tasking instead.
Implement The Changes:
The key to polishing a turd is doing the grunt work and implementing the necessary changes and improvements identified in your plan of action. This may involve making tough decisions and taking risks to turn things around.
Some of the more challenging aspects will be dealing with difficult pain in the ass coworkers who don’t give a shit and aren’t willing to change their ways. When this happens, you gotta escalate these issues to get shit done by getting their managers involved.
Some of the more challenging aspects will be dealing with difficult pain in the ass coworkers who don’t give a shit and aren’t willing to change their ways. When this happens, you gotta escalate these issues to get shit done by getting their managers involved.
Monitor Progress:
It is important to get in the weeds and closely monitor the progress of your project after implementing changes. This will allow you to make adjustments if needed and ensure that the project is on track toward success.
You need to make sure to keep a close eye on the new changes. Don’t let shit fall through the cracks because that’s how new problems will emerge later on. Once you’re past the initial stages and things have been running smoothly for several months, then you can refocus your attention on other priorities.
You need to make sure to keep a close eye on the new changes. Don’t let shit fall through the cracks because that’s how new problems will emerge later on. Once you’re past the initial stages and things have been running smoothly for several months, then you can refocus your attention on other priorities.
Practice Self-Care:
One of the key things to remember is that you’ve gotta be in top form to successfully tackle big issues at work. What this means is that you need to take care of yourself. More specifically, you need to take mini one-minute meditations between tasks during the day and unwind your mind after work so that you give your brain a break in the evenings.
It’s all about managing work stress so that you don’t lose your sanity. It’s not realistic to go all out all the time. It’s not sustainable over the long term. Stay focused at work and when the day ends, disconnect from work and leave all the bullshit behind so that you can recover and recoup.
It’s all about managing work stress so that you don’t lose your sanity. It’s not realistic to go all out all the time. It’s not sustainable over the long term. Stay focused at work and when the day ends, disconnect from work and leave all the bullshit behind so that you can recover and recoup.
Make Shit Shine & You’ll Be A Rockstar

While the saying "polishing a turd" may have negative connotations, it carries an important message about the power of improvement and adaptation. And that message is that you can take a pile of shit, make it better and gain valuable skills which in turn, will benefit your long-term career growth.
It’s not rocket science. It’s a series of simple steps. You can turn a subpar project into a success story. Don't be afraid to take on the challenge of polishing a turd. It may just lead to great things for your project and it’ll boost your personal brand too.
Always remember, if you’re handed a shit project or situation, don't get all pissed off about it. See it as a chance to showcase your skills. And don’t forget, you gotta keep the momentum going even when things get fucking hard ‘cause you just know they will.
It’s human nature to have a negative default setting when things get difficult in life. However, you have the power to change how you see things and thus, how you feel about them. If you see it as a positive skill-building activity, then you’re thoughts and feelings will follow. It’s critical to keep a positive attitude at work.
It’s time to stop fucking around and get shit done. You got the brains and brawn to turn things around. Get focused and take the first step today. You got this.
Feel Better,
[Cubicle|Therapy]
It’s not rocket science. It’s a series of simple steps. You can turn a subpar project into a success story. Don't be afraid to take on the challenge of polishing a turd. It may just lead to great things for your project and it’ll boost your personal brand too.
Always remember, if you’re handed a shit project or situation, don't get all pissed off about it. See it as a chance to showcase your skills. And don’t forget, you gotta keep the momentum going even when things get fucking hard ‘cause you just know they will.
It’s human nature to have a negative default setting when things get difficult in life. However, you have the power to change how you see things and thus, how you feel about them. If you see it as a positive skill-building activity, then you’re thoughts and feelings will follow. It’s critical to keep a positive attitude at work.
It’s time to stop fucking around and get shit done. You got the brains and brawn to turn things around. Get focused and take the first step today. You got this.
Feel Better,
[Cubicle|Therapy]