• Noisy coworkers derail your productivity
  • Take action now before things get out of control
  • Be direct and ask them to turn down the volume
Most of your coworkers aren’t super loud. Most are sensible when it comes to respecting the need for others to focus in a noisy office. Unlike some idiots, these folks actually have some cubicle etiquette.

However, there’s always that one annoying AF coworker who is much louder than everyone else and just happens to be sitting right next to you at work. We call these noise violators “Loud Larrys” of the corporate world.

You always know when they’re around. You don’t even have to look up.

It’s the loud side commentary they’re blabbing out all day long, the awful singing like a drunk karaoke hustler, the yelling across the room to get someone’s attention, etc. The list goes on.

It’s torture being around these kinds of people. They make it impossible to focus and get in the zone at work. It’s now gotten to the point where you just want to yell at their face through a megaphone and tell them to shut the fuck up already.

Well, that’s what you want to do. But, you know that you can’t do that. So, here are some options to get the message across to them.

Polite Ways To Tell Your Coworker To STFU

When a coworker fucking pisses you off with their daily cacophony of noise, you can’t and shouldn’t just sit there and take it. You’ve gotta take action before it gets really out of hand.

Passive-aggressive ways don’t work with these kinds of folks. You have to be direct to get the message across clearly. Dropping hints and side comments aren’t going to cut it here. You’ll just frustrate yourself.

Here are a few ideas that could work for you.

Have A Group Intervention

If you’re like most people, you don’t like confrontation. The good thing is that you don't have to be the sole enforcer of quiet. You can unleash the power of the tribe and get your fellow coworkers to pitch in for group intervention.

It's like forming an office alliance with the common goal of bringing peace and quiet back to the office. Grab the other victims and form a group. With everyone on board, your noisy coworker won't stand a chance. Plus, who doesn't love a good intervention? It's like a real-life sitcom episode, but with less laugh tracks and more collective sighs of relief. So gather your tribe and get this noise under control.

Send A Clearly Written Email

Here’s another non-confrontational method that doesn’t require face-to-face interaction - good old email to the rescue. Simply shoot them an email and ask if that can turn down their volume a few notches. Don’t make it some long drawn out email - keep it short, sweet and simple.

You don’t want the email to come across as threatening. Nobody likes dealing with rude emails. Just keep it professional. Maybe, even have your work BFF preview it before sending it.

Once they get it, you get your precious peace and quiet, and they learn the valuable lesson of how to not annoy the shit out of their coworkers. So go ahead and send that email, you quiet hero, you.

Tell ‘Em Calmly Face To Face

It's no secret that dealing with a noisy coworker can be a real fucking pain in the ass. But before you start banging your head against your desk or investing in an expensive pair of noise-canceling headphones that could double as a space helmet, consider taking a deep breath and confronting the issue head-on.

That's right, put on your big girl or boy pants and have a chat with your noisy colleague. But don't just blurt out an angry, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Instead, approach them calmly and professionally. You gotta be an adult at work. And who knows, maybe they didn't realize they were causing a disturbance and will gladly tone it down once they know how it's affecting you and others nearby.

Or maybe they're just an office asshole and you'll have to resort to plan B, which involves a voodoo doll and some ear plugs. Kidding. Maybe.

Have A Water Cooler Chat

Sometimes, it’s better to approach and address the situation in a neutral area away from their home base. This way, you don’t come across as entering their turf metaphorically.

If you see them heading to the break room, take the opportunity to talk to them there. The water cooler or break room is where you can both casually chat, quench your thirst for hydration and more importantly, bring up the noise issue.

Maybe the refreshing change of scenery will allow them to see the error of their ways and save your eardrums from further damage. Who knows, you might even bond over your shared love of cofftea and love for some peace and quiet!

Use Hand Signals

Here’s a nonverbal approach to telling your noisy coworker to STFU. This works best when you’re catching them in the act of being loud. Next time they start to get a little too loud, give them a direct shush by putting your finger to your lips. That’s the obvious one.

Or if you're feeling bold, use the hand gesture of turning down the invisible volume knob. It's a playful way to get the point across without having to say a word. And who knows, maybe they'll think you're starting a new secret language for the office. Silence never sounded so fun.

Get HR To Do The Dirty Work

If you've tried everything from earplugs to giving them the death glare, it might be time to bring in the big guns - HR. Whether they're like a ninja silently observing the office, or they just like to meddle in everyone's business, HR can help make your work environment a little less...well, deafening.

There is a right and wrong way to complain to HR. You don’t want to come across as being a nagging wussy. You want to position this as a productivity issue for all.

So sit back, relax, and let HR do the dirty work for you. After all, you do have more important things to worry about than your coworker's karaoke skills. While you’re at it, tell HR to set up a quiet room with that never-used conference room.

Reduce The Noise & Increase Your Productivity

Sometimes, it can feel like your office is like a never-ending construction zone filled with jackhammers and loudmouths. It's tough to focus when your coworker is shouting or blasting music from their computer. And there’s only so much you can do to mask and drown out the office noise.

But before you start fantasizing about duct-taping their fucking mouth shut, try taking a diplomatic approach. Sometimes all it takes is a friendly chat to address the issue. They may not even realize that they’re loud.

Once the volume is turned down, you won’t have to deal with as much noise anymore. You’ll be able to get more shit done. And it’s at this point where you’ll reach that nirvana of productivity bliss and start having more and more kickass days at work.

Take action and approach these Loud Larrys before things worsen. Trust us, a little confrontation now will save you from a lot of headaches later. Once you're able to muffle their noise, you'll finally have the peace and quiet to get your grunt work done.

Who knows, maybe you'll even be able to hear yourself think for a change!

Feel Better,

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