SUMMARY POINTS
Every day is an uphill battle. It feels like you can’t make any positive progress in your life. It’s always one step forward and two steps back. No matter how much effort you put in at work and in your life, you just can’t get a fucking break.
You’ve got so much going on at work that keeping your head above water is impossible. For every email or task you complete, five more new ones get dropped in your inbox. On bad days, your blood pressure and anxiety climb in lockstep with your inbox email count. And, let’s not forget about the constant warning signs of layoffs that drive your anxieties even further.
Life outside of work isn’t any better. In some instances, it’s worse. In addition to paying all the expenses of just getting by in life, you gotta deal with all the ongoing family and relationship challenges and issues.
The struggle is real.
Has it always been like this?
You’ve got so much going on at work that keeping your head above water is impossible. For every email or task you complete, five more new ones get dropped in your inbox. On bad days, your blood pressure and anxiety climb in lockstep with your inbox email count. And, let’s not forget about the constant warning signs of layoffs that drive your anxieties even further.
Life outside of work isn’t any better. In some instances, it’s worse. In addition to paying all the expenses of just getting by in life, you gotta deal with all the ongoing family and relationship challenges and issues.
The struggle is real.
Has it always been like this?
Life Is Way Different Now & Work-Life Balance Is Much Harder
Today, humans have a life expectancy that is longer than ever. Back in the 1900’s, the average life expectancy was only 32 years. Today, that figure has more than doubled to around 70 years and it is expected to continue to increase.
Much of this increase in life expectancy can be attributed to advances in health and medical technologies. During this same period of technological expansion, the modern workplace transitioned from the gritty Industrial Revolution period to what it is today - a frenetic hyper-paced information-based world where anything and everything gets done multiple times faster than before.
The problem is that human evolution hasn’t kept pace with these rapid changes. When humans evolved from apes, it took the species about six million years to adapt. If you compare this to the rapid pace of change in the business world from one of coal and steam-powered machines to internet-based commerce, this took place in the blink of an eye.
The human brain hasn’t and isn’t able to evolve fast enough to keep up with these changes. If it did, we’d all be exponentially smarter and have much greater mental capacities.
So, what does this all result in?
There’s a ton more shit happening in today’s world and our brains can only handle so much. We are all maxing out our brains more than ever before. We’re running at full speed for longer periods without much time to unwind our minds to decompress.
When one thing in life is taken care of and completed, ten other new things pop up. Sometimes, you’re able to keep pace by spreading yourself thin and juggling multiple things at once. However, you end up paying the price for this in the form of excess stress, cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, weight gain, drug or alcohol addictions, broken relationships, depression, etc. The list goes on and on.
It’s damn near impossible to achieve any semblance of work-life balance when you’re about to lose your shit from all the crap you gotta deal with on both sides of the equation. And if things keep piling up on both sides without any release or relief, that’s when the see-saw snaps.
The unfortunate thing is that this is only going to get worse. Life ain’t easy. It’s fucking hard.
Much of this increase in life expectancy can be attributed to advances in health and medical technologies. During this same period of technological expansion, the modern workplace transitioned from the gritty Industrial Revolution period to what it is today - a frenetic hyper-paced information-based world where anything and everything gets done multiple times faster than before.
The problem is that human evolution hasn’t kept pace with these rapid changes. When humans evolved from apes, it took the species about six million years to adapt. If you compare this to the rapid pace of change in the business world from one of coal and steam-powered machines to internet-based commerce, this took place in the blink of an eye.
The human brain hasn’t and isn’t able to evolve fast enough to keep up with these changes. If it did, we’d all be exponentially smarter and have much greater mental capacities.
So, what does this all result in?
There’s a ton more shit happening in today’s world and our brains can only handle so much. We are all maxing out our brains more than ever before. We’re running at full speed for longer periods without much time to unwind our minds to decompress.
When one thing in life is taken care of and completed, ten other new things pop up. Sometimes, you’re able to keep pace by spreading yourself thin and juggling multiple things at once. However, you end up paying the price for this in the form of excess stress, cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, weight gain, drug or alcohol addictions, broken relationships, depression, etc. The list goes on and on.
It’s damn near impossible to achieve any semblance of work-life balance when you’re about to lose your shit from all the crap you gotta deal with on both sides of the equation. And if things keep piling up on both sides without any release or relief, that’s when the see-saw snaps.
The unfortunate thing is that this is only going to get worse. Life ain’t easy. It’s fucking hard.
Achieve Work-Life Balance Via Boundaries And Simplification
You’ve heard of the work-life balance term many times before. It’s getting harder and harder to find and achieve balance these days with everything that’s going on in your personal, family and work life.
There’s also another approach often referred to as work-life blending but that’s better aligned for folks that have the ability and flexibility to work remotely. For now, we’ll focus on the more traditional format.
Knowing that you won’t hit the jackpot and win the mega-millions lottery, you’ve gotta find and achieve your ideal work-life balance on your own. Here’s the good news, it’s not a complicated process. It’s pretty simple and straightforward but will require some tough decisions to be made on your part.
What it boils down to is that you need to reduce the amount of shit you gotta deal with on both sides of the work-life see-saw. When you do this, there will be less pressure and strain on the middle pivot point, also known as your brain.
There’s also another approach often referred to as work-life blending but that’s better aligned for folks that have the ability and flexibility to work remotely. For now, we’ll focus on the more traditional format.
Knowing that you won’t hit the jackpot and win the mega-millions lottery, you’ve gotta find and achieve your ideal work-life balance on your own. Here’s the good news, it’s not a complicated process. It’s pretty simple and straightforward but will require some tough decisions to be made on your part.
What it boils down to is that you need to reduce the amount of shit you gotta deal with on both sides of the work-life see-saw. When you do this, there will be less pressure and strain on the middle pivot point, also known as your brain.
Set & Enforce Solid Boundaries
There are all sorts of shit you gotta manage and deal with both in your personal and work life. The key here is to set limits for yourself on what you can and/or should do.
On the work side of life, this means meeting with your boss and confirming your roles and responsibilities. Get very clear on what these are so that you can set solid boundaries at work with your boss and coworkers. When you communicate your boundaries to others, this will prevent others from dropping tasks on your desk that have nothing to do with your job.
The same goes for your personal life too.
Do you really have to go to that baby shower for that person who is more of an acquaintance than a friend?
Is it your responsibility to do that task for your relative when they have a son or daughter who should be stepping up instead?
Do you reluctantly do favors for friends of friends that consume a ton of time?
You gotta put your fucking foot down and start saying no more often to all the bullshit that is taking up all of your precious free time. This will allow you to press pause on life and give yourself me-time more often.
When you set solid boundaries at work and in your personal life, you stem the inflow of unnecessary burdens that will tax your mental health. You should only manage the most important shit in your life - that’s it.
On the work side of life, this means meeting with your boss and confirming your roles and responsibilities. Get very clear on what these are so that you can set solid boundaries at work with your boss and coworkers. When you communicate your boundaries to others, this will prevent others from dropping tasks on your desk that have nothing to do with your job.
The same goes for your personal life too.
Do you really have to go to that baby shower for that person who is more of an acquaintance than a friend?
Is it your responsibility to do that task for your relative when they have a son or daughter who should be stepping up instead?
Do you reluctantly do favors for friends of friends that consume a ton of time?
You gotta put your fucking foot down and start saying no more often to all the bullshit that is taking up all of your precious free time. This will allow you to press pause on life and give yourself me-time more often.
When you set solid boundaries at work and in your personal life, you stem the inflow of unnecessary burdens that will tax your mental health. You should only manage the most important shit in your life - that’s it.
Simplify & Focus Only On Priorities
All too often, we want to be all things to all people, do everything all at once, and be everywhere all the time. This doesn’t work and isn’t sustainable over the long term.
Until we can clone ourselves, we can’t do everything and be everywhere all the time. Spreading yourself thin across more and more things will wear you down fast.
At work, you gotta realize that everything can’t be number one. When everything is a top priority then nothing is. This is why it's critical to sit down with your manager and agree on what the priorities are starting with projects and then, working through each project and prioritizing tasks.
Then, agree on what top priorities can be done realistically given the available resources and your time. Everything else beyond these top priorities is put on the back burner until you have the time to do them, if at all.
Write this all down and confirm via CYA email so that you’re documenting everything. This way if your boss or the office asshole complains and tries to throw you under the bus, you’ve got the documentation to back yourself up.
When you can focus your efforts on the true key priorities at work, then it’s much easier to get in the zone and achieve that awesome feeling of kickass productivity. This is when you’ll up the odds of getting the recognition you fucking deserve.
This same focus, prioritization and simplification can also be applied to your personal and family life too.
Does every weekend need to be filled with activities or events?
Do the kids have to be on more than one team sport each season?
Can you cut back to just one or two hobbies or interests?
Simplify and prioritize your personal and family life to only the most important things. This will allow you to give more of yourself, be more present during these events and deepen the experience for you.
Until we can clone ourselves, we can’t do everything and be everywhere all the time. Spreading yourself thin across more and more things will wear you down fast.
At work, you gotta realize that everything can’t be number one. When everything is a top priority then nothing is. This is why it's critical to sit down with your manager and agree on what the priorities are starting with projects and then, working through each project and prioritizing tasks.
Then, agree on what top priorities can be done realistically given the available resources and your time. Everything else beyond these top priorities is put on the back burner until you have the time to do them, if at all.
Write this all down and confirm via CYA email so that you’re documenting everything. This way if your boss or the office asshole complains and tries to throw you under the bus, you’ve got the documentation to back yourself up.
When you can focus your efforts on the true key priorities at work, then it’s much easier to get in the zone and achieve that awesome feeling of kickass productivity. This is when you’ll up the odds of getting the recognition you fucking deserve.
This same focus, prioritization and simplification can also be applied to your personal and family life too.
Does every weekend need to be filled with activities or events?
Do the kids have to be on more than one team sport each season?
Can you cut back to just one or two hobbies or interests?
Simplify and prioritize your personal and family life to only the most important things. This will allow you to give more of yourself, be more present during these events and deepen the experience for you.
Modern Work-Life Balance Is Within Reach
In today’s crazy fast-paced world, finding any kind of work-life balance and managing work stress ain’t easy. And if you do manage to find some kind of balance and stress relief, maintaining both is even harder because life always throws more shit your way.
The key to achieving balance and reducing stress is to lessen the load on both ends of the see-saw by enforcing boundaries to minimize excess bullshit and then simplifying and prioritizing what’s left so that you can focus on the most important high-value stuff.
When you lessen the load on both ends of the see-saw, it will automatically reduce the overall mental load on the pivot point, your brain. And when you do this, you’re no longer running at full speed all the time. You’ll be operating at a normal healthy workload and pace with enough space and downtime for you to create more me-time when needed.
And this is when you’ll achieve that better balance.
Don’t put this off. The longer you postpone this, the more shit will pile up.
The sooner you start, the sooner you’ll be in a much better place.
Feel Better,
[Cubicle|Therapy]
The key to achieving balance and reducing stress is to lessen the load on both ends of the see-saw by enforcing boundaries to minimize excess bullshit and then simplifying and prioritizing what’s left so that you can focus on the most important high-value stuff.
When you lessen the load on both ends of the see-saw, it will automatically reduce the overall mental load on the pivot point, your brain. And when you do this, you’re no longer running at full speed all the time. You’ll be operating at a normal healthy workload and pace with enough space and downtime for you to create more me-time when needed.
And this is when you’ll achieve that better balance.
Don’t put this off. The longer you postpone this, the more shit will pile up.
The sooner you start, the sooner you’ll be in a much better place.
Feel Better,
[Cubicle|Therapy]